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Thought for the day

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Definition of heaven.

A large room with a steaming pot of soup and a hundred people. There are only 2 metre long spoons - and people are feeding each other.


Definition of hell

Same room, same soup, same people, same spoons. But everyone is starving because they can't eat off the 2 metre spoons..
 
For a child to have to decide whether to agree with the bible or to agree with science is criminal - a Christian scientist
 
Boss to secretary, "Good grief! People keep phoning me up at precisely the wrong time." Secretary replied, "In future I will tell everyone to ring up five minutes later."
 
I'm a pessimist. Everything meets or exceeds my expectations, so I'm always happy.

Give me another beer......
 
The grass is greener on the other side, and for some, even if there is no grass.
 
Yesterday, the saddest financial day of my life, after 1987, and a sadness where politics of two countries control an individuals investment and robs them and their country.
 
" Don't confuse success with becoming rich or having money. One doesn't necessarily follow the other. However, if you keep succeeding in the things you do, money is often the by-product of this. Therefore aim to succeed rather than to have money."
 
" Remember that you will never reach a higher standard than you yourself set. Then set your mark high, and step-by-step, even though it be by painful effort, by self-denial and sacrifice, ascend the whole length of the ladder of progress."
 
"My own experience has taught me this: if you wait for the perfect moment when all is safe and assured it may never arrive. Mountains will not be climbed, races won or lasting happiness achieved."
 
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