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ASF Poetry Thread

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from THORA'S SONG
Adam L Gordon

waiting and watching ever, longing and lingering yet
leaves rustle and corn stalks quiver, winds murmur and waters fret,

no answer they bring no greeting, no speech save that sad refrain
no voice save an echo epeating , he cometh not back again

NOTES on ALGORDON 1833 - 1870

I can mimic the man as a writer, though I'm out of my class a a wit
though he'd give me black eyes as a fighter , though a far tougher student of "grit"
and his rhythms uplifting were lighter , and his syllables just seem to knit
and I find to upkeep with the blighter , that I need my infinitives split.

..
a giant of galloping rhymers, a legend of galloping steeds
forgive any awkward firstliners , and forgive him of any misdeeds
a champ of the prince and the peasant , a genius student of creeds
and Plato and Latin texts pleasant , - this planter of poetic seeds.

...
ahh to have half the skill of this master , or a fifth of his poetic brain
or to write as well slower or faster, or just have him around once again,
whilst most quotes like the breakers disperse, or they melt like sea froth in the rain
his bad and his worse and his worst , are beyond the best Ill attain.

from YE WEARY WAYFARER FYTTE VIII

Question not but live and labour, till yon goal be won,
helping every feeble neighbour, seeking help from none
Life is mostly froth and bubble , two things stand like stone
KINDNESS in another's trouble , COURAGE in your own.
 
Let's change tac here ... On Optimism :-
I have this theory that it's important not to have your expectations set too high :-

MY EXCITING YEAR

Gee but I’ve had an exciting year, Now I’m 12 further months down the track,
The Pis-de-Resistance, the Force-Majeure, Was my compost heap - out the back.
The thing reeks of rhubarb and rotten old peels, And mushing old radish and grubs,
And I have to stand guard cos the neighbour steals , - .. BUT (ha) there’s more in my bathroom tubs.
(Ha, fooled HIM)

Gee but I’ve had an exiting year , With my mild athlete’s foot and my gout,
And my ingrowing toenail that used to grow in , And suddenly chose to grow out.
It’s things like that, right out of the blue , That make life just so worthwhile
And I thank Heaven hourly, yes it’s true , And my toes break into a smile
(now to work on their breath!)

Gee but I’ve had an exciting year , With my waterworks problems mended,
I now use the toilet just once after beer , Before it was “ open-ended”,
The doctor explained “it’s like taps need their washers , And firehoses need their ****..”
The poor bugger standing there wearing galoushes , And me trying hard not to mock.
(taps needing washers indeed lol).

Gee but I’ve had an exciting year , With this book that I read about Russia
The 4000th page was perhaps a bit dreer, And the 5000th went down the flusher,
But all in all t’was a brilliant read, (By the end I needed an usher)
And it’s tripped my desire for travel (and weed), And for snow, and for girls named Natusha.
(well I guess it doesn’t really matter what her name is, as long as she
can say “President thingo” with that sexy accent).

Gee but I’ve had an exciting six months , Since my snoring was finally sorted,
Nights were an endless procession of grunts , And Lord only knows what I snorted.
But now it’s all over I’ve had my neck fixed , And I wear these tight jocks on my fork,
And if that doesn’t work (results are mixed) , Then my wife has this bloody great cork.
(The jocks usually just change up to G minor – we call it the G string).

Gee but Ive had an exciting 6 weeks , Leading into the Festive Season,
My ‘puter’s been swearing in Latin and Greek , And there’s sparks from the top for some reason,
The screw on the back is all stripped and seized , But now I’m only teasin’, -----
I know how tofix a stripped screw ! - in the dark !!
And next year it’s “Strip-Tease-and-Seizin!!”
 
Folks since we've managed to put on 100 odd posts between us lol, I'm assuming that no-one has gone back to check some of the originals - so I'm reposting this one that Julia posted :-


Ignoring the last line about the engagement lol (funny or what) - the fact that they take (TRY to take? - limited success here lol) the "dreams" out of people like Madge. - can't be right surely. (speaking as a potential canditate here - better put my arguments out in the open, before this bit of mental "flue" gets any worse lol, - the doctor just said he's going "straight" out to get me a "jacket" - at least I think that's what they said ?!).

Reminds me of the one about "we do not have the same sense of awe and appreciation and majestic reverance for a rainbow as a native - or a young child - because we understand what causes it, light refraction, all those things we learn about in school. - Sad - We have lost as much as we have gained in the process."

Stuff it all ...lets have a fight here, scientists take the red corner, philosophers the rainbow coloured corner!! (why do I think there wont be any takers lol )

PS should I have said "Scientists the black and white corner" maybe? - better watch out here I might find "Faith" lol. - gonna be difficult fighting myself whilst representing both corners - maybe that's the source of all these voices I keep hearing.

Lol - nice to see that Madge still kisses the furniture good night btw, even if it isnt tucked up in covers.
 
Some great poetry here 2020
Thank You
 
Bronte - the SEA , I love it !! Did a bit of sailing - three yacht trips - here's some verses (again from memory) - let's call em extracts from a poem I wrote that went on for bloody pages - seriously I was stoked at the time - about 6 pages - after sailing from Philippines to Palau - while a typhoon was going from Palau to Philippines lol - spending a few days trying to dodge the thing - in the end we pretty much went through the eye lol - weird, wind coming from East, waves from North etc (i.e. 90 degrees) - things changing so quickly. Incidentally I doubt that much of the following is the actual words I wrote at the time - but when you experience an emotion like that you never forget "the mood"


THE SEA

Out with the wind and a crested sea , Out with the forces wild
Out with the gods that have tested me, So oft since a sawn-off child
Out with the spray and the will to be free, Out with this verse half-compiled, lol
Out with the love of the "verb to be", and to Hell with the lubber's life mild.

Flapping of sail and the masthead sigh, And the wail of a tort-stay-note
power unfathomed to landlubbers shy, Power that grips on your throat -
Traces of sky as one gunnel rides high, While the other is thrashing the moat
As it ploughs through the sea, it is do-or-die , And its man against god against boat.

Ahh the moon can look down with her virgin's frown, on the likes of you and me,
She's accused of making some folk fall down, in a "swoon", so refined, "to a tee..."
.........
But ahh the sea, the mighty sea, the ever pregnant sea
that makes love with each tide, like a newly wed bride , and pregnant she ever will be.!!
 
woops , - forgot which hemisphere, lol. better correct it b4 I'm caught out.
anticlockwise means mmm, lets see , big hand on the three, mmm, and the waves comes from where the wind used to be so - shudda been
"wind from west, waves from north"
PS sometimes the sea is becalmed - has a touch of the doldrums lol - I guess on those occasions she's saying she has a headache - and isn't really interested in love today - still I'd prefer to wait for her mood to pick up, - permitting sail - that to resort to a power boat.
 
THE FORSEEABLE AND THE UNFORSEEABLE FUTURE

I plan to head out across the bar, while the tide is at optimum full,
and to take on THOSE waves, I can see where they are, that are charging in like a bull,
Then....
I'll guess that I'll kick her..., which way? maybe straight?, maybe rips are from windward or lee?
Cos those factors are fickle - I'll have to wait, That's as far as I can foresee.

Way out there there's bound to trial and panic, curry and flurry, why shout it?
And what can we do? you'll just go insanic, why hurry to worry about it?
And most would agree that most of the time, that life's an aggreeable smoocher,
And it's wasted worry to dread the climb to an unforseeable future.

And maybe twill be on a starboard tack and maybe twill be on a port,
But at least and at last I'll hopefull come back, and it won't all have been for naught,
Who knows I might need a week in dry dock, for the odd repair (or a suture),
But..
I'm hopefully strengthened from shake and shock, for the next unforseeable future.
 
THE RAINBOW LASSOO

I have this little question mark that twists my brain around,
It's triggered by a misty park, where drops of rain abound,
Like - why the rainbow isn't tethered pot to elusive pot?
- permitting me to reap wet weathered
- GOLD beyond that hedgerow hethered !
- GOLD beyond my dreams full feathered !!!
SADDLE BAGS ALL BULGING LEATHERED !!!!!
MINE!! ALL MINE !!, THE LOT!!!!!

The leprechauns they laugh they lilt, they steal the rainbows anchors,
(and only if you're free from guilt , you see these gilt-edged bankers)
they much prefer us red and blue , and running in the mist
- and out there with a big lassoo
- and chasing rainbows me and you
- and doing things that madmen do
and shaking clench- ed fist!

- and buying shares in oil and goo
- alternate cries of "Whopp de DO!!"
- and weeping when we're in a stew
I think you get the ghist.
 
EINSTEIN EXPLAINED IT QUITE SIMPLY.

Newton believed if you sat under apple trees, Apples would fall on your head,
Personally I can relate to that theory, Gladly I’d take it as read.
Einstein went on to say, if one explodes, then E = m times c ‘sqed’,
So .. now I chew apples exceedingly gently, and bunches in treetops I dread.!!

Old Galileo would take up his telescope, Stare at the shadows on Venus,
Calmly predicted the sun was the centre, (inStead of some Pope or his 'genus' **),
[ editors note - ** = those ambivalent about going to heaven can improvise ]
Einstein went on to say - stare out for long enough, Something quite horrid and heinous, the
Back of our heads somehow comes into view, and - Turn around quickly - we’ve seen us!!

Harrison mastered the Royal Naval timepiece, his Clocks milli - second to none,
One twin-son sailor could trip to the tropics, (you Just point the clock to the sun),
Einstein went on to explain in great detail - that Were this twin shot from a gun, then
Speed-of-light-logic decrees when he flew past, his Brother was old but him young!!

I like the idea of fishing, Spin a few yarns and wide tails,
I like to make-believe holding my fishes to Show they were damned nearly whales,
Einstein would have me face forward, (Given the windspeed in gales),
Otherwise fishes would foreshorten speedwise, iMagine elliptical scales !!

Black holes are mean cosmic cannibals, Eating up prodigal suns,
Light rays refuse to escape from their surface, mmm -Much like my burnt raisin buns,
Einstein explained it quite simply, "Teaspoonfuls weigh in the tons",
Denser than rockcakes, - can you imagine it ??! - Crushed by a handful of crumbs!!

Then there’s our old friend Prof Heizenburg, He of uncertainty theory,
States in a nutshell precision in speed means that Place and position get bleary,
That should imply a policeman might cry, even make cycle cops teary!
"Sir you were booked at precisely mack 1.5....Streetname’s been entered as ‘??query’". !!

Hard to imagine how they would have felt, exPlaining to men (stubborn mules!),
After they’d preached of their blackholed, uncertaintized, relative, fringe-dwelling rules,
Can’t you just picture it, Einstein and Herzy, Wobbling around on barstools,
"Audience laughed ven there vasn’t a joke, - Mein Gott!! vott a kreat pack of fools!".
 
LESSONS FROM THE INMATES OF THE ARK

Teach me (first steps) how to count, teach me ABC,
Teach me M that stands for monkey, how to climb a tree;
-Teach me 'bout the 3 small pigs,
-Warn of wolves and Mr Bigs,
-How to join in playground gigs,
Bullies, friends and me.

Take a tired tardy tortoise, take a boasting hare,
Teach me that a puffed-up chest is just a bag of air;
-Teach me how to persevere,
-Dawn till dusk till goal is clear,
-Humbly face flamboyant sneer,
Bravely face a dare.

Take a slab of sleeping grizzly, take some bullhorns large,
Teach me when to hibernate, teach me when to charge;
-Teach me horse’s flowing manes,
-Over fields where freedom reigns,
-Teach me Clydesdale’s willing chains,
Pulling on a barge.

Teach me porpoise sense of humour, leaping sunlight beams,
Teach me antlike industry to play my part in teams;
-Teach me canine gratitude,
-Cute koala attitude
-Longitude and latitude of
Gum-tip flavoured dreams.

As my education blossoms, teach me ways of dove,
Teach me truth and honesty as seen from up above;
-Teach me to out-fox the beagle,
-Teach me to out-dove the eagle,
-Teach me gentle, teach me regal,
Teach me how to love.

Let me learn to sing with whales, echo-friendly bark,
Teach me twenty thousand tales of inmates of the Ark;
-Let me learn to know them better,
-Whether whale or Irish setter,
- Make “EXTINCT” a silent letter-
Then I’ll disembark.
 
I'm just posting a few poems here that I have already posted in other threads. Trust that's ok Joe. This is one I wrote after I tried to sell imported solar powered windmills etc (toys) in the 80's - lost a lost of money- the concept was a bit new then - I'm a hopeless salesman lol - but maybe I learnt a better lesson.

THE SUNSHINE SALEMAN

Lady would you like to buy the soul of a sunrise, Chirping from the treetops, yodelling its birth;
Melt in the mellow of its crystal fragrance - Christened with a dewdrop - Guess how much it's worth.
Well....Normally they retail for about ten a penny, Depending on the packaging and somewhat on the style,
But.. mmm. 'Sposing that you promise to embrace it just a moment,
It's yours...for the price of a wakening smile.

Lady can I tempt you with the nectar of a noontime , Listen to the honeybees, busy buzzing by..
"Bright gold sunshine lady, hug yourself an armful , Flowers at your ankles, Fire in the Sky"
Well.. Normally again it is really quite expensive, Litres cost a Lire, and a gallon costs three,
But .. mmm 'Sposing that you promise to look just once skyward,
and Tune in to the laughter.. then its all yours free.

Lady have you watched in the sobbing of a sunset , How Apollo staggers , how his blood spills,
Nestles in his grave in the far horizon , Bitter sweet death in the western hills.
Now.. Best price I can give you on the master's magic - Last rites included - is a dime for two;
But.. mmm 'Sposing on your face I see just one tear of gratitude -
My sale has been rewarded, and that tear will do.
 
This one also posted elsewhere. I always wanted to say "tone up the E string and tone down the hate" - but as usual there were constraints imposed due to squeezing it into a "few lines of verse".

HOW DO YOU JUDGE

How do you judge a small boy, born in bedlam, and brought up on bullet and bomb,
And forced to take sides since his age 4 or 5, with rebel or junta or com -
how Different from sons who grabbed rusty old guns, and told to report to the Somme?
yet They were our heroes - Aussies or Austrian, Prussian or Polish or Pom?
Empathy mate, he’s a victim of fate,
Teach him guitar 'stead of military gait,
Half a chance gladly, he'd tone down the hate
Gladly swap rifle for song.

How do you judge when a father steals bread, and feeding his child’s his objective,
How do you measure the pain in his head, against some divine law directive,
how Different from coots who wear grey flannel suits, and somehow avoid the detective?,
and Rob us all blind, and yet they can find a loophole from public invective?.
Empathy, friends, for the child must be fed,
Half a chance, gladly, he's elsewhere instead,
Tolerance, friends, the alternative's ‘dead ‘
and Hunger is hardly elective.

How do you judge an old man wearing rags, who reckons he lived to the letter,
Alternative place or alternative race, it all could have been so much better,
Alternative time he’d be getting by fine, instead he’s a vagrant and debtor,
how Different from chaps where the dice won perhaps? - but dice have made him a regretter.
Half a chance gladly he’d rise from the mud,
Guilty but huge mitigations m’lud,
Empathy - there but for fortune’s my blood (brother)
Him wearing rags, me jet setter.

What do we do with this empathy savoured, and tolerance practiced in kind?
Live 20 lives which are various-flavoured, and give twice the kindness you find,
Only so much that one mortal can do - even one kindness-inclined,
Only so much - but a thought born of fairness will help keep your goalposts aligned -
Follow the truth (and on this never budge)
Constantly giving your conscience a nudge,
Walk a brief mile in his shoes, don't prejudge, (and let)
Prejudice wither on vine.
 
Rather than continue to "repost" poems already here on other threads - here's a new one - light hearted for a change (I should add - they don't come any lighter than this lol)

THE X-RATED GOSSIP MAGAZINE

there's this Mag that they sell at the Best and Less, X-Rated and full of hot gossip,
but Y one would buy it is anyone's guess, I'd rather play poker or tossup!
"what Happens in back seats"; "Madonna with big teats", and "Harry caught kissing the cooks",
please Lord, will the tell us, the reason they sell us, these Twisted excuses for books!

I Read just one story, half love yarn, half war-y, and Three-quarteres sad soapie serial,
he Kissed her, he pissed her off, then it got gory, now Ain't that just front page material !
he Fed 'er on stir fried, and bed er on Smerfhide, he Lead 'er on something quite shameless,
and Julia roberts has a "habit" with hobbits, and - She was so totally blameless!

this Mag's monthly feature - some lessons to teach ya - "have Sex on a sixty foot swing" !
one Problem, uncanny, if you fall on your fanny, it Loses a bit of its zing!
and Features on lost love, and creatures who lust love, and Filmstars caught bonking in trees,
and Liz takes here chance with her eighteenth romance, and Britney plays rabbit for cheese.

the Centrepage folds out - with "Tom Cruise just holes out, with new girlfriend Miss "such-and such"
and There's sweet Nicole at the Hollywood Bowl, all gift-wrapped with bows round her crutch, -
each Cameraman fights for exclusive first rights, to a Weekend of snipering royals,
a Pat for red setter, he met her, he let her, - and, ooops, now she's sporting these boils.

the Pages are usual-ly filthy from prying, from fingers of curious wowsers,
too Stingy to offer to actual buying both Petrol and "goss" "at the bowsers";
"bill's Marriage has split up"; "some Stage girl's ass lit up"; and "Tommy Jones straddling his wife",
the Sleeze they could edit out- she-Said-it, he let-it-out, C'Mon there lads - please .. "GET A LIFE!"
 
Finally one about discipline! and today's disobedient kids! and electric eels !! - (those things used for unbocking sewer pipes)

CORN KERNELS FOR THE COLONEL

i’ve Just come from wrestling an electric eel
down the Side where the loo flush goes
it’s One of those jobs where you work by feel
with a Peg on the end of your nose
then you Wash your hand – and you wash your hands –
And then, after you burn you clothes,
then you Wash em again – and again – and again,
Then? You wash em again I suppose.

now to Recap slightly, when I was a lad
i was Forced to eat my corn,
and to Chew it up well, or my folks got mad,
and it Couldn’t be thrown on the lawn,
and if Needs be – DISCIPLINE such as it was -
i was Locked in the loo till I ate it
so i Ate it all up, as much as it was
(though i Still close my eyes and hate it).

my unDisciplined kids have been told “CHEW YOUR CORN”
yet – There, floating past, today,
was a Grain pristine as the day it was born
not Chewed – not any which way –
so NOW, there’s a RULE – and Im gonna be strict !!
that i Stand and inspect at the drain
and if ANY darned grain flushes by intact
They can damned-well chew it again !!
 
TYPICAL OLD FASHIONED LOVE AFFAIR - 16th CENTRURY.

they Met in their teens when the world was green, and their Heads were impetuous yet,
and the Sad forebodings to them unseen, of Montague and Capulet,
and it Grew from fling to zing to keen, to Flames of eternal debt,
till those Flaming brothers intervene, on behalf of the the Gang and the Jet.

at Threat from the mother, of pain to the other, they Parted reluctant sad,
one Day had elapsed - how they missed one another, to a frenzy bordering mad!!,
"THIS SHOULDER", he pleaded to bullying brothers, "CUT IT OFF!! if you so abhore them !!
for it's Wet from her teardrops cried in her blubbering, Sobs - and I ADORE THEM!"

"Cut off my hands!" he insisted again, for they Only want to mould her!
"Cut off my arms!" while I'm locked in this den, for they only want to enfold her!,
"CUT OUT MINE EYES!! poor excuses of men, for they only want to behold her,
"and Do it all now in preference to then - 'fore I Get another hour older."

.............
Well.. she Pictured it all in her fair young mind , that he'd Been severely reduced,
Legless, shoulderless, armless, blind - and she'd STILL NOT been seduced !!
"Poison me brothers!", she said to her kin -.... "ahhh Give that cup here you great NONG!"
then she gulped it - twas real !! - the poison went in !!,
THEN ...the trick knife didn't go "sprong" !!!!!.

Bleeding and pleading and dying and dead, pitied and sorely shaken up,
her Last dying gasp as he leant o'er her bed..
............."Today too late I have waken up"
"Of COURSE they were right !! I now confess, when they Said it would all end in strife,
and i TRIED to tell you - but oh NOOO, you knew best!!....Bloody men, bloody mess, bloody life.!!"

After which ...HE leant back, bellowed "HELL WITH THE REST, SAINT PETER!! who needs formal wife!!
Please mate - best honeymoon suite - two guests!!!" ,
......... and he plunged in his heart with his knife.
 
One for the forthcoming Ashes matches - apologies it's a bit long, but difficult to drop off any verses without losing the plot - (the doctor sez I lost the plot a long time ago)

JIMMY AND THE BULL (TEQUILA MOCKING BULL)

young Jimmy Bean was third bat for the local cricket team, and When he put on baggy hat, he’d always rise like cream,
and When he took the field he’d turn a nightmare to a dream, a Little overfull of self-esteem - ……
but…Want some action ? – call for Jimmy Bean.!

now Tommy Sly had been twelfth man for 13 years or more, he’d Tired of bringing drinks out for that tiresome-stuffed-shirt-bore,
he’d Tired of faking niceties with ever-grinning jaw, but Tommy knew of Jim’s Achille’s flaw – ….
as Two-pot-screamers went, he'd win for sure !

when Chance came he was ready, how revenge would taste so sweet, he Waited till young Jimmy was full thirsty from the heat,
he Knew that Jimmy loved to gulp the icy liquid treat -… he Filled the bottle with tequila neat,
..........and Watched and waited from his ringside seat.

young Jim was none the wiser as he took a giant sip, he Drained the bottle ultra dry, and licked the final drip,
“that Water’s something elsh, my boy”, he slurred his final quip, and Tommy grinned and bit his upper lip;…..
“I strangely feel I'm on Safari trip”.!!

in Midst of pinkish elephants, he cursed and shook his head, “the Sights you see in Summer ! – must’ve fallen outta bed! ”
and draggng bat, he took the field, his eyeballs flashing red, “oK schaps, lesh resume the mash”, he said,….
“so Led err rippp!!” :silly: - and in the bowler sped.

as Ball came zooming into sight, tequila took control, he Suddenly wore Spanish tights in some weird Bullfight role,
and instantly his hanky changed to Matador’s red stole!! he Cried “OLE” and whirled his cloak with soul -…..
and Wickets smashed as redball took its toll.

a Burping hiccup bubbled up and, staring bleary-eyed, the Laughing fielders doubled up with chuckles he espied.
and No way any Matador could tolerate his pride, so Trampled on – He took a giant stride,……
and Kicked the nearest fielder up the Clyde.

“now Hang orn, thatt's nort cricket!!” said the umpire with a pout, “and Furthermore, when bails come orrff you’re very clarely out!!”;
“ahh – Don’t tork bulldust” said young Jim “Thas not what itsh about !!
"There’s bludy BULLS man, BIG ONES all about!!
This calls for men of courage – hearts of Stout!!!”

...............
It Happened that a Brahman bull escaped that very day, and Wandered to the cricket pitch and into Jimmy’s fray,
and Half the fielders soiled their pants, and some went instant grey, and as the other players ran to pray ,
DEFIANTLY, ALONE JIM YELLED .... “OLE!!!”

the Bull caught sight of Jim’s mad stare, and hanky in the sun, and Clawing dust returned the dare, and snorted like a gun,
and Rounded on this Don Quixote with his 20 ton, and Thundered down the bowler’s starting run, !!
and Thundered down the 20 yards as one. !!

With head like charf, and legs like mince, and feeling not one pain, Jim Sidestepped unconvincingly, as steed went past like train,
and Poked it with a wicket when it charged in yet again, and yet again “take that , and that", yelled “touché” with each feign
and finally the poor ole bull it did a hamstring strain, and Finally ….it chose to just - abstain……..,
“next Time” it puffed “I’ll pick on someone sane”!.

from Safe-enclosured clubhouse floor, high in the Member’s stand, the Other teammates watched in awe at Jimmy’s efforts grand,
and Now he’s hailed as hero for his mighty courage gland, and No more bulls nor “Cloud Nine Cuckoo Land”,….
and Neat tequila’s definitely banned.

at Day’s end Jim knew little – just one God Alghty blurr, the Pitch was deeply furrowed and the whole thing strewn with fur,
but Jimmy argued gallantly a case of “Force Majeure”, and Next week they resumed at “where-we-were” ….
that Drink’s-break – when young Jim began to slur.
 
ALCOHOL vs ADRENALIN

Thoughts on Jimmy's courage :-
1. Courage is a quality so necessary for maintaining virtue that it is always respected, even when it is associated with vice - Samual Johnson 1709-1784(or drunken stupidity in Jimmys case )
2. The more wit, the less courage. - Thomas Fuller 1608 - 1661 (someone once told me that the best I could hope for was 50-50, i.e. half-courage, and half-wit.)
3. Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village - Leonard Louis Levinson - (whereas a half wit walks fully clothed into a shower).
4. The nation had the lion's heart. I had the luck to give the roar. - Winston Churchill. (and he was pissed a lot of the time ) - imho sir. - sorry irrelevant and irreverant
5. In the following, Gordon compares two types of courage, one from the stimulant of the bottle, one from the stimulant of the "saddle tree" (I would say a comparison of alcohol vs adrenelin :- the second you like to remember - the first you strictly cant forget because you cant bludy remember it in the first place !!) :-

on Booze vs Exhileration :-
from YE WEARY WAYFARER, FYTTE III
A Treatise on the Vine Tree vs the Saddle Tree. - Adam Lindsay GORDON

I reMember some words my father said, when I was an urchin vain,
god Rest rest his soul in his narrow bed, these ten long years have lain
when I Think one drop of the blood he bore, this faint heart surely must hold
it May be my fancy and nothing more, but the faint heart seemeth bold.

he Said that as from the blood of the grape, or from juice distilled from the grain,
false Vigour, soon to evaporate, is leant to nerve and brain,
so the Coward will dare on a gallant horse, what he never would dare alone,
beCause he exults in a borrowed force, and a hardihood not his own.

and it May be so, yet this difference lies 'twixt the vine and the saddle-tree,
the Spurious courage that drink supplies, sets our baser passions free,
but the Stumulant which the horseman feels when he gallops fast and straight,
to his Better nature most appeals and charity conquers fate.

as the Kindly sunshine thaws the snow, even malice and spite will yield
we could Almost welcome our mortal foe, in the saddle by flood and field
..........
now Tell me for once old horse of mine grazing round me loose and free,
does your Ancient equine heart repine for a burst of such companie...
 
THE HORSE's PERSPECTIVE !!
How strongly can I recommend you read this poem. ? let's just say it is a classic - the horse's perspective of a cavalry charge. !!
"And there may be more links ’twixt the horse and his rider
Than ever your shallow philosophy guess’d. "

Herewith some excerpts :-
http://whitewolf.newcastle.edu.au/w...dsay/verse/SeaSpraySmokeDrift/kettledrum.html

LAY OF THE LAST CHARGER (A.L, Gordon)

one Line of swart profiles and bearded lips dressing,
one Ridge of bright helmets, one crest of fair plumes,
one Streak of blue sword-blades all bared for the fleshing,
one Row of red nostrils that scent battle-fumes.
........

One was there leading by nearly a rood,
Though we were racing he kept to the fore,
Still as a rock in his stirrups he stood,
High in the sunlight his sabre he bore.

Suddenly tottering, backwards he crash’d,
Loudly his helm right in front of us rung;
Iron hoofs thunder’d, and naked steel flash’d
Over him””youngest, where many were young
..........

our Numbers were few, and our loss far from small,
they could Fight, and, besides, they were twenty to one;
we were Clear of them all when we heard the recall,
and Thus we returned, but my tale is not done.

for the Hand of my rider felt strange on my bit,
he Breathed once or twice like one partially choked,
and Sway’d in his seat, then I knew he was hit;””
he Must have bled fast, for my withers were soak’d,

and Scarcely an inch of my housing was dry;
i Slacken’d my speed, yet I never quite stopp’d,
ere he Patted my neck, said, “Old fellow, good-bye!”
and Dropp’d off me gently, and lay where he dropp’d!

ah, Me! after all, they may call us dumb creatures””
i Tried hard to neigh, but the sobs took my breath,
yet i Guess’d gazing down at those still, quiet features,
he was Never more happy in life than in death.

..........
scoff, Man! egotistical, proud, unobservant,
since I with man’s grief dare to sympathise thus;
why Scoff?””fellow-creature I am, fellow-servant
of God, can man fathom God’s dealings with us?

the Wide gulf that parts us may yet be no wider
than That which parts you from some being more blest;
and there May be more links ’twixt the horse and his rider
than Ever your shallow philosophy guess’d.

you are Proud of your power, and vain of your courage,
and your Blood, Anglo-Saxon, or Norman, or Celt;
though your Gifts you extol, and our gifts you disparage,
your Perils, your pleasures, your sorrows we’ve felt.

we, Too, sprung from mares of the prophet of Mecca,
and Nursed on the pride that was born with the milk,
and Filtered through “Crucifix”, “Beeswing”, “Rebecca”,
we Love sheen of scarlet and shimmer of silk.

we, Too, sprung from loins of the Ishmaelite stallions,
we Glory in daring that dies or prevails;
from ’Counter of squadrons, and crash of battalions,
to Rending of blackthorns, and rattle of rails.

in All strife where courage is tested, and power,
from the Meet on the hill-side, the horn-blast, the find,
the Burst, the long gallop that seems to devour
the Champaign, all obstacles flinging behind,

to the Cheer and the clarion, the war-music blended
with War-cry, the furious dash at the foe,
the Terrible shock, the recoil, and the splendid
bare Sword, flashing blue, rising red from the blow.

..............
did he See? could he feel through the faintness, the numbness,
while Linger’d the spirit half-loosed from the clay,
dumb Eyes seeking his in their piteous dumbness,
dumb Quivering nostrils, too stricken to neigh?

and What then? the colours reversed, the drums muffled,
the Black nodding plumes, the dead march and the pall,
the Stern faces, soldier-like, silent, unruffled,
the Slow sacred music that floats over all!

......

it May be,””we follow, and though we inherit
our Strength for a season, our pride for a span,
say! Vanity are they? vexation of spirit?
not So, since they serve for a time horse and man.

they Serve for a time, and they make life worth living,
in Spite of life’s troubles””’tis vain to despond;
oh, Man! WE at least, WE enjoy, with thanksgiving,
god’s Gifts on this earth, though we look not beyond.

you Sin, and you suffer, and we, too, find sorrow,
perChance through your sin””yet it soon will be o’er;
we Labour to-day, and we slumber to-morrow,
strong Horse and bold rider!””and who knoweth more?
 
Beans BEans they're good for your heart
the more you eat the more you fart

CHARMING
 
You can try different variations...

shares shares they're good for your heart
the more you buy the more you fart :
 
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