• Australian (ASX) Stock Market Forum

Real Life vs Perception

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by wayneL, Oct 10, 2017.

  1. wayneL

    wayneL Rotaredom

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    No idea whi the lady is who wrote this, but I shared it on my FB a couple of years ago.... It struck a cord:

    It was a Wednesday afternoon when I walked into Starbucks that day nearly six years ago. I stood at the bar, waiting for my drink, when the barista politely asked me what I was up to that day. As it turns out, I was en route to the airport at that moment…about to catch a flight to Italy with my husband. After a brief minute of chatting, the barista handed me my coffee and wished me a nice trip. “But then again”, she said “why wouldn’t you…your life is golden!”

    I’ll admit…the gold star was nice. But at the same time, the words knocked the wind out of me. She wasn’t being rude. She wasn’t being sarcastic. In fact, she was being totally genuine. And that’s the part that really took my breath away.

    Because here’s the thing…

    This lovely girl saw me for all of five minutes a day. Usually all dressed up on the way to my full-time job at one of the country’s most prestigious art galleries. Or with my camera in hand to photograph two people in love. Or, yes, on my way to Italy for ten days to celebrate my anniversary. This is what she saw. Therefore, this is what she knew.

    And truth be told, there is darkness in this kind of knowledge. Especially now, when so many of our connections happen only five minutes at a time…fully filtered and perfectly hash tagged. In our defense though, it’s not entirely our fault. That battle we’re fighting…those rough days were having…they don’t tend to translate very well when you have twenty people in line behind you for coffee or a hundred and forty characters to spell out your day.

    Honestly, what was I going to tell my barista?

    “Yes, we’re flying to Europe. I just miscarried our baby…we had a terrifying health scare…I’m suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder…and we’re feeling pretty far from God right now. So, yeah, going to Italy seemed as good a place as any to just run away from our life and justifiably eat gelato twelve times a day.”

    No. I wasn’t going to tell her this. Because shocking total strangers into oblivion is a bit harsh and cruel. Especially when she’s the girl in charge of making your coffee every day.

    But I did spend the entirety of that flight wondering; about our sense of authenticity…our collective vulnerability…our polished identity. And it made me feel like a total fraud. Because I’m not any of those things that this girl sees on the other side of her coffee bar.

    If I showed up one morning, wearing my most ragged and scarred self…it would be a very different girl staring back at her [and she would likely feel inclined to serve me alcohol instead of coffee!]…

    Because I was bullied a lot as a teenager.

    I’m afraid of thunderstorms.

    I spend an absurd amount of time worrying about what other people think of me.

    My biggest challenge in life is letting go of people. Even if they hurt me.

    I hide behind my humor for fear that people won’t accept me without it.

    I feel like I have failed as a daughter.

    I try to avoid big groups so that I won’t feel like the invisible one among it.

    I'm insanely self-conscious of my smile.

    I feel like I’m an easy person to walk away from in life…and it haunts me on a daily basis.

    I almost always operate under the assumption that I care more about everyone else than they do about me.

    I unfollow people on Instagram if their life seems too perfect because it makes me feel inadequate.

    I feel like a terrible mother pretty much all the time.

    I hate emptying the dishwasher.

    Every day, I’m afraid that my husband is going to wake up and finally realize how much crazy he married.

    I thank God for every day that he doesn’t!

    I don’t like to try new foods…so I travel with my own jar of peanut butter.

    I want to write a book so badly that it hurts. But I’m afraid of people telling me that my life was never worth telling.

    I struggle, every single day, with feeling like I’m enough. Skinny enough. Funny enough. Good enough.

    And I cry. A lot.

    I highly doubt I would get a gold star for any of this. But, now, six years later, I do know one thing for sure; that even with all of my frailty…all of my fears…and all my faults…none of those things make my life any less golden.

    Scars tell stories. Scars mean survival. Scars mean you showed up for the fight instead of running from it.

    And we’ve all got them…even the sweet girl serving my coffee. She’s fighting her own battle…defending her own front line…struggling in her own way.

    And maybe it’s not about collecting gold stars for the perceived reality we give the world on Facebook…but it’s about the purple hearts we get for living bravely among the real one.

    Because life requires guts…it requires bravery…and it requires vulnerability.

    So, buy your coffee…wear your scars proudly…and carry on, dear soldier…

    You’re not in this battle alone.

    photo credit: www.richellehunter.com | Richelle Hunter Photography
     
    basilio likes this.
  2. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    True, but no one... and I mean no one...wants to hear your hard luck stories. In that sense, if you have issues (everyone does), then you're better off keeping them to yourself. Or pay someone to pretend they care.

    It's possible to appear differently to who you really are by only mentioning the good parts and leaving out the bad. But if I told you my doggy died and I felt terrible about it, would you give a f#ck? Nooo!
     
    Wysiwyg likes this.
  3. Wysiwyg

    Wysiwyg Everyone wants money

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    Yeah Gringo got it. Remember that other people in the world are hungry, losing more money, dealing with greater tragedy or suffer from terrible disease. Remain positive and do what you can to have the best quality of life.
     
  4. cynic

    cynic

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    Well that would depend upon the breed of dog. If it was an apricot poodle, or similarly poor excuse for a member of the canine species, then probably not.
     
  5. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    There are people in the world who know how to respond in hard times, but they are rare. If you can find someone who will listen without trying to fix you, and attend without feeling sorry for you, then you're lucky. Such attention rapidly expedites emotional release, but that step may not be essential. Whether you have that luxury or not, the bottom line is you gotta get back to the task of figuring out how life works.
     
  6. Tisme

    Tisme Apathetic at Best

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  7. Wysiwyg

    Wysiwyg Everyone wants money

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    Napoleon Hill apparently wrote,
    “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
    Technology will produce things that partially to fully brain dead consumers (like me lol) will be astounded by. Gee there is going to be some trash pile up in the world and in this instance you really can throw the baby out with the bath water.
     
  8. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    If you have competing beliefs in the unconscious, you get a battle and the unconscious always wins.
    Unconscious beliefs are hard to identify.

    Self sabotage at a certain % run up in account value is very common, according to guys like Steenbarger and Douglas. That comes from competing beliefs which force you to trade like an fwit.

    If everything is nicely aligned internally, you end up like modest or minwa. Money just happens. Technical set ups really don't play much part in success.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2017
  9. Wysiwyg

    Wysiwyg Everyone wants money

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    How would you know if it was self sabotage or not? Could use self sabotage as an excuse in every undesired outcome and synchronicity with unconscious self when outcomes are as expected. I wouldn't use trading as an example because the outcome is out of the individuals control.
     
  10. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    Sabotage and self-worth go together, so you'd feel guilty and generally uneasy as the account builds. If it's straight anxiety, probably more likely to be just a fear of losing what's been built up. These unconscious drivers will make you blind to factors which would normally keep you out of a trade. You literally can't see what your unconscious doesn't want you to see.

    There are some brilliant coders around who can't make money. They know markets inside out, they know about trade management, but these things don't guarantee success.
     
  11. Wysiwyg

    Wysiwyg Everyone wants money

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    I understand. Like when money is involved the fear of losing it can cause people to react differently to if it were a paper trade. Having anxiety as a pschological hurdle would certainly make logical decision making difficult.
     
  12. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    The unconscious attempts to perpetuate whatever it believes. That's the basic rule - it doesn't handle change too well. If you're a strict Muslim, everything you experience will have Muslim beliefs as a filter. Pork will look like poison and you won't even consider eating it. It's disgusting - why can't these infidels see that? Any attempt to change this belief (even by the person's own efforts) will fail, unless he can access the unconscious level of belief. If this person had been switched at birth and raised by Irish Catholics, well hey, let's have that pork with some extra crackling. The Catholic knows that a pork dinner is good and wholesome. The Muslim knows it's filthy, poisonous. Beliefs forcing us to perceive and act very differently. And this is just a minor example.

    In trading, your beliefs are just as powerful. Few realize it.
     
  13. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    The truth about pork is that it is neither wholesome or poisonous, it's just pork. The labels we add are a reflection of our social programming which is determined by our birth circumstances and surroundings. Some people move beyond their early programming, but not many. That shows you how hard it is. Most cultural beliefs are rooted in fear.

    So if you want to attempt to change a belief, first step is to get access to where it's stored as a script. Like debugging code, except the mind-code is designed to stop you getting very far.

    "Are you sure you want to stop this process? Closing this application could cause system instability". o_O
     
  14. sptrawler

    sptrawler

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    Some people perceive a morning t.v host, earning $2 million a year, as reasonable. Yet they perceive fifo workers doing four weeks of 12 hour shifts, then getting one week off earning $160,000/per year, as overpaid.
    I guess it depends on the observers perception of real life.
     
  15. SirRumpole

    SirRumpole

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    Barbie and Ken should join a union for those with very white teeth and very little brain.
     
  16. sptrawler

    sptrawler

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    If they can earn $2 million a year, for dribbling rubbish on t.v, why would they need a union?
    A union would obviously hold them back, like how many wages people who are part of a union, earn that sort of money?
     
  17. SirRumpole

    SirRumpole

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    Well I'm sorry, I should have added a :D for those who aren't quick enough to see a joke.
     
  18. sptrawler

    sptrawler

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    On these forums, it is difficult to tell when some posters are joking, as their perceptions differ from others.
     
  19. SirRumpole

    SirRumpole

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    Sure, well the main comment was that Stefanovic and what's her name are overpaid doll babies just there for sex appeal rather than for any serious journalist pretensions which left when Steve Leibman retired.
     
  20. Gringotts Bank

    Gringotts Bank

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    I like Karl. He's got the best sense of fun. Always cracking up. He doesn't give too much of sh1te what anyone thinks.
     
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