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Family responsibilities

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by basilio, Feb 2, 2019.

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  1. basilio

    basilio

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    Does this letter ring any bells amongst ASF posters ?
    Thoughts ?

    A letter to... my lazy wife and children
    You kids are out of school now: life should be sweet. It isn’t

    I was a teenager when I began working 42 years ago, and I’ve stuck it through tough times. You kids are out of school now: life should be sweet. It isn’t. It’s crap. I am depressed and exhausted. I expect to be “managed out” of my job soon.

    To my wife: you’ve worked for years, but you have almost zero savings. I pay the bills, and I pay when we go out. You could buy that new kitchen you want if you were to exercise a modicum of fiscal responsibility.

    To our two kids still at home: why don’t you help around the house without being asked? Why must I return to a pigsty after a 12-hour shift?

    To our drug-addict kid: we supply and maintain your car, do your washing, feed you. We feed your dog. The one I asked you not to get. The one you said would be no trouble, because you’d take him to work. The work you quit.

    Get your life in order. Start by blaming yourself for your decisions to use marijuana at 14 and meth at 17. Get therapy for your self-inflicted psychological issues. Admit it’s not normal to have four showers a day. You are a qualified tradesman. Stay off the drugs, get a job.

    To our kid who just left school: you only had one job to do – study and pass your exams. Now you have signed up to train in a low-paid profession with long working hours. I believe you did this because you see it as the easiest path, so you can pretend you are doing something with your life. If you really do have a passion for cooking, maybe you could do some here at home.

    To our oldest kid: last week I repaired your car myself to save you money. Gearboxes are heavy; it was tough. This week you bought another car. What happened to building a financial buffer in case your contract isn’t renewed? If you can’t make your house payments, I can’t help you. When I gifted you the deposit for your home, I told you it was all I was able to give. I meant it.

    To you all: I feel the weight of the years. When he passed away, my father was less than five years older than I am now. I will soon be unable to work. Then I will stop paying your bills, fixing your cars and cleaning up after you.
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/feb/02/a-letter-to-my-lazy-wife-and-children
     
    qldfrog likes this.
  2. qldfrog

    qldfrog

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    Interesting, while i think Basilio, you should try to get off the Guardian brain washing/conditioning for your own good and to prevent you feeling depressed, they sometimes have good stories
    In China, their website is allowed by the communist party and is one of my western media accessible source.
    I let you deduct why China would let it accessible while even the ABC or Le monde are blocked, probably because it is doing a great work destroying the west...?
    But i digress.i believe many parent face similar situation.we want and do too much for our kids and spoil them, even when we try not to.this takes different forms but the essence is the same.
    Interested Basilio, why did it maybe strike a chord with you, if you want to expand on what is obviously a very personal matter...
     
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  3. Knobby22

    Knobby22 Mmmmmm 2nd breakfast

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    Nasty
    Been watching skynews?
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2019
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  4. qldfrog

    qldfrog

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    No
    no sky news for me, as brain dead as the guardian
    Trying to find a middke ground between the pravda and the hitlerian youth gazette
    Not much luck al jaezeera maybe but then the green plague is not that great
    Nasty? i hope not, i am in no way trying to target Basilio.
    I personally find it difficult to be both a great dad and a great father.i have some of the feeling that guy has, luckily in far less extreme situation.
    Are you a dad knobby?
     
  5. Knobby22

    Knobby22 Mmmmmm 2nd breakfast

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    2 teenagers 15, 18 Both doing well.
    I put onscout leader, football be involved.
     
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  6. basilio

    basilio

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    I would disagree with The Guardian being "a brain washing/conditioning news site" (surprise, surprise..) IMV it offers some of the best quality of free world wide news and information coverage. But having said that the net itself can take too much time and there are lots more roses to smell.

    On a directly personal level - no I havn't been affected by the type of situations the letter writer outlined. But of course immediate friends and family members have their own struggles. I have a close friend whose son and daughter-in-law have/are taking advantage of them way beyond the reasonable. That is hard to see and difficult to discuss.

    On the bigger picture I think younger people do face a substantially more difficult environment than we did at their age. Good paying secure jobs are far more difficult to find. Basic accommodation at a reasonable price is a joke. Our society has certainly become more wealthy but the concentration of wealth at the top end is unhealthy - probably for everyone.

    I suppose the challenge the writer is talking about is the lack of appreciation and perhaps seeming refusal of his children to take more responsibility for their life.
     
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