The King: Like most characters in the strip, the King is named simply after his role. "Sire" to his subjects, he is the greediest, most evil man in the kingdom, and yet he maintains a sense of humor about his desire to stay wealthy. Jokes are often played on his height (about three feet), and he wears a crown and cape that makes him look like a playing card. From his throne room he hands out terrible punishments for crimes (executions being quite common), only ever looking to win votes, power and money. He is hated by the peasants, who to his dismay, often proclaim, "The King is a fink!" However, he is often shown to have a quirky softer side, and it is mentioned his only friends are the moat monsters
The Lone Haranguer: A phantom heckler who rides past the King's window frequently to shout "The king is a fink!" The King has suffered anxiety over the stranger, but has never succeeded in capturing or identifying him. (Name is a play on "The Lone Ranger").